Friday, June 11, 2010

Joy In The Journey

Today was weigh in day. Nothing. Blah. I've been hovering between 188 & 191 for over a week now. I'd like to move on. 185 is a big number for me, and I want to get there soon. 185 means no longer obese for me. Today I lowered my weight loss goal from 2 lbs a week to 1 lb, in order to increase my daily calorie intake. I've been hungry for them, so maybe eating a bit more will help get me going again.
Recently I was asked to speak at Enrichment Night at church about my weight loss journey. After I bawled like an idiot, I got the message across. Last year I weighed almost 250 lbs, and slept 16 hours a day because I didn't have the energy to do much else. I felt like I was failing in my marriage because I didn't love myself, and I didn't want to be touched... and why would my husband ever love me the way I was? So I decided something had to change. That something was me. Then I showed them the size 24 jeans I started my journey in, and proceeded to climb into 1 leg. Yes, all of me fits into 1 leg of those jeans. They were floored. I told them I went from a size 24 to a size 8, that I had a 50" waist, and now it's 32". I've taken 10" from my hips, and 10" from my thighs. I told them they could do it too, that it was all about choices. Food doesn't make us fat. Food CHOICES make us fat. I told them if they could see themselves the way the Lord sees them, they would realize their infinite beauty & potential. They just have to CHOOSE.

In the words of one of my current favorite songs: Always gonna be another mountain. I'm always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle. Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose. DOESN'T MATTER HOW FAST I GET THERE. DOESN'T MATTER WHAT'S WAITING ON THE OTHER SIDE. IT'S THE CLIMB.... Remember, friends, even when you have crappy weigh ins, take joy in your journey, and find the positive things about it to help keep you going. I may not be the weight I want to be now, but I've taken more than 3 feet off of my body, can do a 5k in 45 mins, and fit into sizes I've NEVER fit into before (or dared to dream of). "It's sad when we give up the things we REALLY want for the things we want RIGHT NOW." So keep your eye on the prize, and "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swi-i-i-i-ming. What do we do? We swim, swim, swim."