Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Mrs. Trish's Wild Ride

How do you react when you discover that everything you believed to be true was a total lie? Do you beat yourself up about it? Do you wonder what you did wrong to cause it to happen? Do you shut out the world long enough to regroup?

The last week has pretty much sucked. Wednesday one of my best friends told me she had stage 3 ovarian cancer. Thursday was my birthday. I was bummed, but we still made a good day of it. Hubby stayed home to take a test for school, but there was some paperwork his professors didn't fill out so he had to go back later for it. We went to gym together, and I got to show him around the weight room for the first time. I was positive he could lift more than I could, but it turns out I am 10 lbs stronger. Whee! We went to Jason's Deli for lunch, and I got my first pair of really nice running shoes before dinner. Dinner was Pizza Hut. Yum! Haven't had it in a while.

Friday friend with cancer was supposed to go to dinner and movie with her kids. Grace was so excited to see her "cousins", well they didn't make it over here before we left, but said they'd meet us at theater. They never showed. I was upset. We were planning a sleepover that night to go to Lagoon on Saturday, which also never happened. Instead, hubby & I took Grace to the Zoo. We had a great day together until I noticed that Grace had thick pussy discharge coming from her tear ducts. In the course of an hour it went from cream colored, to yellow, to neon green. I called my mom for momformation. "Uh, Ma, what does pink eye look like?" She assured me it wasn't pink eye.
After zoo we went to dinner with Andy's brother.
Sunday I woke up sick, and slept through most of Sunday & Monday.

Monday Andy stayed home to help take care of Grace. I dozed whenever she sat on my tummy to watch kid shows. I had some post nasal drip, and it hurt to swallow. Not sore throat swallow, but more swollen gland hurt. While hubby went grocery shopping, I snorted up giant cancer-looking THING. Everything started draining afterwards, and I felt better. Gross, I know, but at least I'm on the mend now.
Tuesday my entire world was turned upside down.

I found out my best friend with cancer had fraudulently used one of my credit cards and had been lying about it to us all summer. We called her bluff, and it's not been fun since. We gave her an ultimatum: Pay by Friday, or Fraud.

Tonight we called some of her family to see if she had mentioned her cancer to them, cuz you'd think she'd mention it to them, right? They had no clue.

Please tell me the week will only get better now that Wednesday is over! It doesn't though. It's all so very ugly. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I don't know what to believe anymore.

I guess on the upside, I've dropped down to 178, but it's mostly from sleeping so much that I haven't eaten.

Oh, and Grace's pussy eyes? Yeah, we took her to pediatrician. Pink eye BOTH eyes (thanks for that reassurance, Ma, lol. Go with your gut, right?), ear infection both ears, sinus infection, and a cold. She's on her 2nd round of antibiotics for the month. You'd never know she was sick, she bounces around like a little monkey.

I'm getting better, minus feeling completely heartsick inside.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


My birthday's tomorrow.

My birthday's tomorrow & one of my best friends just told me she has cancer.

Not saying that this weekend will suck, but it's definitely a killjoy. I don't mean to sound selfish, but with other personal problems I'm dealing with right now, I'm hurting. Birthdays are depressing enough without being told your bestie has cancer.

Happy birthday to me.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Too Much Cake!

Yesterday was a toddler birthday alapalooza. In the morning we went to one birthday party, filled with pizza, soda, candy, and massive cake, immediately followed by a second toddler birthday party with more cake, a BBQ, and well... you get the idea.
By the evening I was totally disinterested in food and barely finished off 1 fajita. The rest of the night I was sick to my stomach & had a headache. If any part of this year was spent planning on a food binge for my birthday to the point I had a hangover the next morning, all plans are OFF! My body is definitely not used to eating over 2000 cals of crap in a day. Today I am trying to stay as close to 1,000 cals under my daily limit as possible, while still staying coherent. Hey, bad eating choices have harsh consequences. The rest of the week, I will be staying within my calories. Yes, even my birthday, and the following weekend.
It's going to be a good week.
Tomorrow I have my "yearly", which I'm not entirely looking forward to. I don't know what to do with Grace as she's sneezing snot rockets, so I can't really leave her with anyone I know cuz they all have kids. However, I will be discussing with the OB/GYN the possibility of being allowed to go into labor naturally the next time I'm pregnant. I'm sure a 70 lb weight loss will be helpful for my case.
In the evening I have Primary presidency meeting, but we are meeting at The Chocolate. YUM! The president said she would buy me a slice of cake since it's my birthday this week.
Thursday is my birthday. I'm not quite sure what we're doing other than getting a movie in the evening and splitting a P'Zone from Pizza Hut. I don't think I've had one in at least 6 months. We would be going out, except that Andy gets paid on Friday, so it seems silly to go out on my birthday. It's easier to wait. Besides, Legend of the Guardians comes out on Friday. Oh, and we're going to Lagoon on Saturday, yay!
Will keep you posted.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Coping With Fabulosis & Austastism

If you are anything like me, you suffer daily from a rare condition. This condition is called Austastism. It can be highly contagious when spending time around awesome people. One contracts Austastism when they reach a a fantastic level of epic awesomeness. Likewise, you may also know someone with chronic Fabulosis. Fabulosis occurs when one reaches a colossus level of Fabulousness. Side effects of both conditions may include, but are not limited to, inspiring others, achieving daily goals, and transforming from Super Mom to Superman!
I hope when you meet someone who suffers from these diseases that you will be understanding and supportive of them.

Today when I weighed in, I kissed the 180s goodbye, and said hello to 179.8. I was going to go to the gym, but Fu woke up and was sneezing snot rockets. Why, after 2 rounds of antibiotics, are we doing the snot rocket thing again? *Sigh* So instead of going to gym, we went grocery shopping and I went crazy on Greek yogurt. I don't like the Yoplait or Oikos Greek yogurts, but I do like Dannon's, and it was on sale 10 for $10. I couldn't find all of the items on my list at the first store, so I went to Target where I found Fage & Chobani Greek Yogurt. They were more expensive, but I've heard good things about them, so I got a few. The Chobani peach Greek yogurt ended up replacing my lunch of garlic herb shrimp. I don't regret my choice. I've also had good self control today over the Popcornopolis. So far I've only had 1/2 a cup of Kettlecorn.
Tonight we are seeing our chiropractor, who I believe also suffers from Fabulosis (he got me started on my weight loss journey, and can fix ANYTHING!). I dread having my lower back & hips adjusted. Everything up until there is fine, but as soon as he goes to adjust that area, I'm in utter pain, snarling naughty Mormon cuss words, and crying.

Tonight we're having cheeseburger wraps for dinner. It's a slightly less naughty version of a cheeseburger. It's lean, ground beef, with shredded lettuce, tomato, pickles, velveeta, and condiments, served in a wrap (we are using lite flour tortillas tonight, which are only 100 cals).

What I ate today (1306 cals):
1 ginormous protein shake (2 scoop body fortress vanilla whey protein powder, 8 oz lactose free fat free milk, 1 banana, a ton of ice cubes)
1 Kashi TLC honey almond flax granola bar
1 Chobani peach Greek yogurt
1/2 cup Popcornopolis Kettle Corn
1 Cheeseburger Wrap
64-90 oz water

1 pillsbury toaster scrambler
16 oz almond milk
4 quaker mini rice cakes
8 oz Tropicana light fruit punch
1 buffalo chicken wing with ranch
Cheeseburger wrap fixins
1 fruit cup

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Hot Dog!

So I was hoping to be under 180 today after burning off nearly 1/2 a lb in calories yesterday. Not quite. 180.6. So close!
I noticed last night that hot dogs are on the dinner menu today. I didn't really want to go out and buy buns, since I wasn't planning on eating any, and Grace usually won't eat them, so Andy would've been the only bun eater. Really? A pack of buns for 1 hot dog. Seems silly. So I asked the man if he minded having his dogs on a piece of bread. He said he'd survive. So you can imagine my joy this morning to receive a coupon from Sonic for a free coney dog! The man gets a hot dog WITH bun, and Grace & I can just have a hot dog at home. I think it works out.

Today I had leftover salad from Friday or Saturday. It was still safe to eat, and I added some mozzarella pearls for protein, but I only made it half way through before gagging. My system said I'M DONE! I suspect it's from eating 2 whole cups of Popcornopolis before lunch.

What I ate/going to eat today:
29 Kashi Island Vanilla biscuits (it's like shredded wheat)
8 oz almond milk
1 scoop body fortress whey vanilla protein powder
2 cups assorted Popcornopolis
1/2 spring greens salad with tomato, cucumber, salad pizazz, and mozzarella pearls
1 cup Del Monte no sugar added diced peaches
1 Oscar Mayer 98% fat free hot dog w/mustard
90 oz water

16 oz almond milk
1 single self-serve bowl of regular cheerios
1 cup Popcornopolis
2 Farm Rich chicken, cheese, bacon sandwich melts
1 cup del monte no sugar added mandarin oranges
1 bag gold fish
8 oz Tropicana light Fruit Punch
1 Oscar mayer 98% fat free hot dog w/condiments

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

A Thousand Cals by Lunch!

I've had a desire for a while now to get up very early in the morning and go work out (either run at the gym, or... something!), because I've read you burn more calories on an empty stomach.
Well last night I conked out at 9:30, and woke up at 5. I realized, in a sleepy haze, i didn't have to go to the gym to work out... I had a Wii! So I rolled out of bed, turned my Wii Biggest Loser on, and strapped on my HRM. I chose the intense 70 min core workout and burned over 400 cals in an hour. After I caught my breath, I got dressed for the gym. Grace woke up shortly thereafter, and we had breakfast. I had some Kashi Oatmeal with a banana and milk, and Grace had a pillsbury toaster scrambler (which took her FOREVER to eat). Got to the gym and put in a solid 1.4 mile jog on the TM, followed by weights, followed by returning to the TM and putting in another 2.07 miles. So I burned nearly 1,000 calories before lunch!
I feel good, and deserve a nap!
Going to try to go for a walk tonight to burn some more cals, just for kicks.

My Popcornopolis arrived today. Eight glorious pounds! The toddler chose white chocolate macadamia nut to sample first. I wanted Popcornopolis instead of cake for my birthday this year. It's healthier, and I just genuinely love it. Though, that probably won't stop me from actually getting cake from The Chocolate on my birthday.

Before I nap, here's what we ate today (and are eating)

2 packs of Kashi all natural oatmeal
1/2 cup of Darigold fat free lactose-free milk
1 banana
1/2 cup Popcornopolis
1 Healthy Choice Lemon Herb Chicken
24 Blue Diamond Cinnamon Sugar Almonds
1/2 cup Stagg Chili
1 baked potato (sans toppings)
1 babybell mini cheddar wheel
100+ oz water (aiming for 120, will probably get 112)

1 pillsbury bacon, egg, cheese scrambler
1 Uncrustable pb&j
4 quaker mini rice cakes
1 cup of mandarin oranges
1/2 cup Popcornopolis
1/4 cup Stagg Chili
1 small baked potato (sans toppings)
1 babybell mini cheddar wheel
8 oz tropicana light fruit punch
16 oz almond milk

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Picky Eaters Club

So as I've gotten better about my own eating habits, I've also become more conscience about the food I feed my daughter. The problem is, Grace is the president of The Picky Eaters Club. Example? How about HOWLING, near-tantrum level about how hungry she is the hour before dinner, while I'm cooking dinner, and then completely turning her nose up at dinner when it's served. It drives me cocoa-bananas.
So, with the help of a fellow mom friend, I decided to try new battle tactics. I eliminated her snacks, in place of trying to give her a healthy meal. I incorporated her snacks into the meal itself, and holy moly, she's actually sitting through dinner, and, most nights, eating it!
My goal for next year is to eat really clean, so I've been trying to get into the practice now. Grace is also benefitting from it. Today's lunch:

5 pieces of popcorn chicken (which she requested 5 more of after finishing her entire meal)
1/2 small bag of graham goldfish
1 go gurt
1 Minute Maid juice box
1 Mini cheddar Babybell

She had fruit this morning with breakfast, and she'll have veggies & some leftover cous cous at dinner with grilled tilapia. That covers all the food groups, right? Protein, dairy, grains, fruits, veggies. Oh, and we're still counting chocolate as a food group, in itself, so we've both had a serving of dark chocolate roasted almonds by Blue Diamond.

I'm trying to be a good mom. I NEVER want my kids to go through what I went through as a fat, little kid. I don't think I would have suffered that if my parents kept tighter control over what I ate.

I dunno if it will help other parents out there, but I'm thinking of posting our meal plans every so often.

Oh, and I finally got a pair of jeans to survive the winter. Size 8 Faded Glory-- a big step down from the 24s I was wearing last year ;)

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Skinny Jeans

So a couple of days ago I was at Walmart with a friend. I'm slowly coming to accept that I'm going to need a new pair of jeans for the colder months soon. I grabbed the sizes I'm in now, and bravely grabbed a size 6 as well. I squeaked into the 6's. Hooray for ab muscles that can really suck it in!
I had a really awful muffin top, but the point is I got those 6's buttoned and zipped, hahaha. I'm not stopping at a 6 though. I'd like to slide into a 4 by this time next year. I think 6 & 4 are going to be my skinny jeans.

The gym has been closed for yearly maintenance since August 23. I'm down to 183 today, but I'm pretty sure it's from muscle loss. I've been doing Wii Biggest Loser to help maintain some fitness, and Grace has found herself useful as an occasional 25 lb barbell. Can't wait for the gym to reopen. I made some really good progress in the weight room right before it closed, so I'm eager to get back.
I also took Clarene's desire for me to stay in the 140s to heart and moved my goal weight from 135 to 148. That's still a 100 lb loss. No shame in that. It means I get more calories, too, which I'll need in order to build muscle and torch fat.

C'mon, giant gut, get lost! Mama wants a pair of 6's.