How do you react when you discover that everything you believed to be true was a total lie? Do you beat yourself up about it? Do you wonder what you did wrong to cause it to happen? Do you shut out the world long enough to regroup?
The last week has pretty much sucked. Wednesday one of my best friends told me she had stage 3 ovarian cancer. Thursday was my birthday. I was bummed, but we still made a good day of it. Hubby stayed home to take a test for school, but there was some paperwork his professors didn't fill out so he had to go back later for it. We went to gym together, and I got to show him around the weight room for the first time. I was positive he could lift more than I could, but it turns out I am 10 lbs stronger. Whee! We went to Jason's Deli for lunch, and I got my first pair of really nice running shoes before dinner. Dinner was Pizza Hut. Yum! Haven't had it in a while.
Friday friend with cancer was supposed to go to dinner and movie with her kids. Grace was so excited to see her "cousins", well they didn't make it over here before we left, but said they'd meet us at theater. They never showed. I was upset. We were planning a sleepover that night to go to Lagoon on Saturday, which also never happened. Instead, hubby & I took Grace to the Zoo. We had a great day together until I noticed that Grace had thick pussy discharge coming from her tear ducts. In the course of an hour it went from cream colored, to yellow, to neon green. I called my mom for momformation. "Uh, Ma, what does pink eye look like?" She assured me it wasn't pink eye.
After zoo we went to dinner with Andy's brother.
Sunday I woke up sick, and slept through most of Sunday & Monday.
Monday Andy stayed home to help take care of Grace. I dozed whenever she sat on my tummy to watch kid shows. I had some post nasal drip, and it hurt to swallow. Not sore throat swallow, but more swollen gland hurt. While hubby went grocery shopping, I snorted up giant cancer-looking THING. Everything started draining afterwards, and I felt better. Gross, I know, but at least I'm on the mend now.
Tuesday my entire world was turned upside down.
I found out my best friend with cancer had fraudulently used one of my credit cards and had been lying about it to us all summer. We called her bluff, and it's not been fun since. We gave her an ultimatum: Pay by Friday, or Fraud.
Tonight we called some of her family to see if she had mentioned her cancer to them, cuz you'd think she'd mention it to them, right? They had no clue.
Please tell me the week will only get better now that Wednesday is over! It doesn't though. It's all so very ugly. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I don't know what to believe anymore.
I guess on the upside, I've dropped down to 178, but it's mostly from sleeping so much that I haven't eaten.
Oh, and Grace's pussy eyes? Yeah, we took her to pediatrician. Pink eye BOTH eyes (thanks for that reassurance, Ma, lol. Go with your gut, right?), ear infection both ears, sinus infection, and a cold. She's on her 2nd round of antibiotics for the month. You'd never know she was sick, she bounces around like a little monkey.
I'm getting better, minus feeling completely heartsick inside.