Tuesday, December 21, 2010

The White Gloved One Cometh!

Today is December 21. In just a few days, a certain loveable, chubby, bespeckled person will come into our home. They will wear white gloves, eat junk food, decide if we've been naughty or nice, and then leave.
This person is my mother.

Years ago, she called herself the White Glove Inspector, and no matter how much time I spend cleaning my house, I feel like it is never good enough. She joked this morning that she will wear black gloves this year, but it occurred to me over lunch that dust shows up even worse on black gloves than white gloves! At least I feel that I've gotten to a point in my life where I've stopped trying. It's a whole lot less stressful. I will clean the house to the point where I am happy with it, and leave it at that. If she is unhappy, there is a La Quinta & Marriott within a 5 min walk of the house.

In light of this, here is my to do list:

Take broken microwave to Mending Barn and never return! (They said they'd take it off my hands. I just can't stand to think of it in a landfill).
Declutter House.
Put up new curtains so I don't have to look at ugly blanket that's been over our window for a year.

Finish Decluttering
Scrub Tub
Wash Car
Have Andy do Dishes

Laundry (particularly wash sheets in pull out bed)

Somewhere in this time span, I also want to go to store & buy gingerbread house kit. I think Grace would have fun making one.
I have this innate desire to go on a baking binge, including the creation of cake balls (Elfling Poop for Ma's stocking, LOL), truffles, and stained glass cookies.
I wonder if this will help the holiday mood at all, as I want to elf my neighbors (ding dong ditch the goodies)

Sunday, December 19, 2010

Santa's Prayer

Saw this online & went "Aww!"

The sleigh was all packed,
The reindeer were fed,
But Santa still knelt
By the side of the bed.
"Dear Father," he prayed,
"Be with me tonight,
There's much work to do,
And my schedule is tight."
"I must jump in my sleigh
And streak through the sky,
Knowing full well
That a reindeer can't fly."

"I will visit each household,
Before the first light,
I'll cover the world,
And all in one night."
"With sleigh bells a-ringing,
I'll land on each roof,
Amid the soft clatter
Of each little hoof."
"To get in the house
Is the difficult part,
So I'll slide down the chimney
Of each child's heart."

"My sack will hold toys
To grant all their wishes,
The supply will be endless,
Like the loaves and the fishes."
"I will fill all the stockings
And not leave a track,
I'll eat every cookie
That is left for my snack."
"I can do all these things Lord,
Only through You,
I just need your blessing,
Then it's easy to do."

"All this is to honor
The birth of the One,
That was sent to redeem us ...
Your most Holy Son."
"So to all of my friends,
Least Your glory I rob,
Please Lord, remind them
Who gave me this job."

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

The Importance of Education

One of my readers, a firm believer in the importance of a good education, sent this article to me. I've read through it and wanted to share it. I know the value of an education, even if I can't decide what I want to study for myself. Enjoy!

""SPICE" Needed To Fill The Gaps

If you are lucky enough to be a stay-at-home parent in America today, you are among the truly fortunate. With thirty years of economic policies that have decimated the middle class, the majority of American households today require two incomes, meaning that young children must usually be relegated to child care facilities.

While some parents may want to stay at home to develop that parent-child bond, young children can greatly benefit tremendously from attendance a certified preschool, operated by trained, certified early childhood educators. The experience of learning in a school setting during the early years can be a valuable supplement to a child's experience at a time when the brain is being shaped and developed.


So now we come to SPICE- Social, Physical, Intellectual, Creative and Emotional. While there is arguably no substitute for a loving parent-child relationship and daily interactions the scientific methodology has an important place. This is where trained, certified early childhood educators can "fill the gaps" when it comes to a young child's development.

Social development involves the way a child relates to others and functions in a group setting. If you are among the increasing number of parents choosing to limit their family size to one child, the importance of socialization in a structured environment becomes apparent.

Physical development refers to building motor skills, from the gross (basic movements such as walking and running) to the fine (such as holding a writing implement). Not only is important as to whether they can perform these tasks but it's how they do the, do they put one foot in front of the other when walking? When holding a pen, they put sufficient pressure on it? Many crucial areas of critique that are often overlooked.

Intellectual development is achieved through structured play, and of course means development of language and math skills as well as the child's innate sense of curiosity and wonder; A vital area of development that is central to success in school later on.

Creative development helps to really development the intellectual area as well. More specifically it addresses artistic talents in visual arts, music, storytelling and even theatrics. Creativity is the foundation self-expression and problem solving and it is arguable that without creativity, there would be no innovation nor entrepreneurship.

Emotional development, while often overlooked, is just as equally important as the other developmental areas. Without a sense of self, including self confidence and the discipline to deal with one's own emotional responses, a child will have difficulty functioning in society later in life.

The Professional Advantage

While most parents are aware of these developmental areas on an instinctive level, they may not really be aware of how to help their children through these learning stages. However, certified preschool educators are trained in the scientific theory and methodology that can make the difference between a child succeeding – and succeeding brilliantly.

Co-written by Emily Patterson and Kathleen Thomas
Emily and Kathleen are Communications Coordinators for the network of Texas child care facilities belonging to the AdvancED® accredited family of Primrose educational child care schools. Primrose Schools are located in 16 states throughout the U.S. and are dedicated to delivering progressive, early childhood, Balanced Learning® curriculum throughout their preschools."

Monday, December 13, 2010

Conversation of the Evening

Andy was in bathroom, Grace was outside. Conversation goes as follows:
Grace: "Daddy, what doing?"
Andy: "Pooping."
Grace: "Ah, daddy pooping! Daddy, knock knock"
Andy: "Who's there?"
Grace: "Owls."
Andy: "Owls who?"
Grace: "Xactly! Daddy, what doing?"
Andy: "Wiping my bum"
Grace: "Ah! Daddy wiping da bum!"
Andy: "What are you doing?"
Grace: "Mmm, sleeping."
Andy: "Okay."
Grace: "Daddy, what doing?"
Andy: "Putting on clothes."
Grace: "Hooray!"

Saturday, December 11, 2010

Rough Night

Last night was rougher than the bark on a tree. Grace started coughing when she got up from her nap Thursday afternoon and coughed all day. In the morning, she was still coughing. I called the doctor, because I wasn't sure what I should do. She had just about finished off her meds, and she sounded awful. The doctor said that it was a good thing, and she needed to cough out the rest. She coughed ALL day. Pretty much nonstop. It continued ALL night. Andy & I worked in shifts. I'd get up 4 times, then Andy would. Grace finally got a little sleep around 3, and went to 6, then wanted to be sung back to sleep after a coughing fit. Up again at 7:30. Andy put her back down. She slept til 10. I went out to get groceries while she stayed home with daddy. When I got back, he said she hadn't coughed once. In fact, she ended up not coughing at all, the entire day. WAHOO! She just now had a couple of coughs, after dinner. We had baby spinach & chicpea pasta. She just wanted the pasta, and ate about 1/2 a cup, with applesauce, and chocolate milk (I made it with torani sugar free chocolate syrup & unsweetened almond milk).
Now we're off to see the lights at Thanksgiving Point, and reindeer. I bet she'll love it. I hope her night is as silent as today. We could all use the rest.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Lights, Heat, No Action!

Yesterday we became owners of a new microwave. Our first one gave out after 10 years of faithful service. It probably just needs a part replaced, but the place we got it from charges $50 just to figure out what it is, then however much the parts cost. By that point, you might as well buy a new microwave. It stopped heating food. Do you know how irritating it is to cook a 1 min breakfast for 30 mins and still have it ice cold? Yargh!

Grace has croup. She's had a cough for over a week. I thought she was getting better last week. It sounded like the cough was a little phlegmy, but ready to get it out of the system. It got worse over the weekend, and I took her to the doctor yesterday. She had croup & ear infection. Poor baby! Why can you not stay healthy for more than 5 mins?

Today I made truffles. I didn't want to use the heavy whipping cream I'm saving for tomorrow's chocolate party, so I used Irish Cream coffee mate instead. They turned out really yummy! They were super easy to make. Just chop up the chocolate, place in bowl, steam the cream, pour over the chocolate, allow to melt, stir until smooth. Throw in fridge. Wait 2 hours. Mellon ball those dark, silky babies, and roll in your choice of goodness. I did crushed peanuts, and crushed watermelon life savers, but most of them were rolled in dutch cocoa powder. They are terrific! I want to share them with everybody.

For lunch today, Grace had Farm Rich pizza slices, animal crackers, mandarin oranges, and almond milk. We're having turkey burgers for dinner.

The White Glove Inspector (AKA Ma) will be here in just over 2 weeks.

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Gerschler Family Christmas 2010

Having lost nearly 120 lbs between the two of us (I've lost over 75 & Andy has lost nearly 50), I'm thrilled to share our new family portraits with you.

Grace shares cookies with Santa

My favorite shot of Andy & Grace:

Me, looking (and feeling) like a rockstar:

Me with my gorgeous girl:

Thanks for letting me share. Happy holidays, everyone!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010


So an interesting thing happened yesterday. The detective found my friend and got a testimony from her about the fraud case. And then she called me. She finally wanted to sit down and clear the air. So I picked her up and we talked on the way back to my place. I got to have my questions answered, and have explained what happened to her. I felt a little rattled by the whole thing, but otherwise okay... and definitely happy to be moving towards a resolution and reconciliation.
My mom called that night, and I told her about it. She got pretty upset and I felt like she was chewing me out. Suddenly, a decision that I felt was a good one, was under fire, and now I doubt myself. Am I doing the right thing? The Lord teaches us that forgiveness is the mightiest sword. Just because we sin against Him, doesn't mean he cuts us off forever. Yet, somehow, I suddenly feel like I need validation in my choice to be more Christ like. I just hope my friend is sincere in her coming forward and it's not a case of "Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me."

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

2 Second Memory

I like to think I'm a lot like Dory from Finding Nemo. Actually, a cross between Dory, Dug from Up, and Hammy from Over The Hedge. Needless to say, I have a 2 second rule: 2 second memory, 2 second attention span, and 2 seconds of energy (unless you give me caffeine, and then the world stops).
So anyway, this post is pretty much just for posterity. Something to help me remember stuff. I'm hoping to get an iTunes card for Christmas.
Dear self: if you get an iTunes card for Christmas, download Katie Perry's Firework, Hot N Cold, California Gurls, Teenage Dream; Black Eyed Peas Good Night; Laurie Berkner for Grace. Thanks!

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Gobble Til Ya Wobble, Baby!

First, and foremost, Happy Thanksgiving, everybody! Today I want you to travel safely, and fully, guiltlessly enjoy the day's festivities. I am shamelessly enjoying a 4,000 calorie day. Try not to die from sticker shock, mmmkay? In all fairness, the first 2k calories were fresh veggies, pretzels, and dip. The turkey is just now going in to the oven. Hubby & I just put the Fu down for a nap, after an exciting morning of parade & dog show watching. Little monkey is convinced that the cheetohs are hers, lol. We put a couple goodies within reach of her, and she has really enjoyed the olives, pickles, carrots, and cheetohs. I even made ants on a log for her for the first time, using celery, creamy pb, and pomegranate craisins. It took a little convincing at first, but she eventually ate it.
The other night she was throwing up, so to see her appetite return so vigorously is encouraging. I'm glad she is feeling better so that she can enjoy the holiday with us.
Anyway, hubby is going to pick up his brother soon, and I will start mopping the kitchen. After that, it's time to brave making some Lion House rolls. I've never made rolls without using a bread maker, so I hope these turn out okay.
Last night I made a white chocolate wonderful chocolate mousse pie. Basically it's white chocolate pb, mascarpone, and chocolate mousse in a chocolate pie shell. Yum! Later on, I will whip up some whip cream from scratch and fold in a packet of Dove Chocolate Discoveries spiced chai tea. It will be the perfect addition. I am thinking of even going as far as dusting the pie with some Dutch cocoa powder. Pretty AND delicious!
Anyway, enjoy your day. Stay safe & warm!

Monday, November 22, 2010


So I've fallen off of the NaNoWriMo wagon, but I'm hoping to do a little writing this week. I didn't get any bookings from any of the two parties I did, but I'm still trying to find more business. In the mean time, I will have time to write. Hubby was a prince and not only helped me prepare for my party this past Saturday, but also took catalogs & order forms to work. I hope I get some orders and/or party bookings. Saturday I went to my best friend's, Jazz, first baby shower. Her family was trusting enough to let me do the games (insert evil laugh here). My favorite one, that had everyone squealing for one reason or another, was the dirty diaper game, where you melt various & asundry chocolate bars in diapers, mush em up to look like poo, and everyone has to guess what it used to be. It gets wild when you tell the guests that there are no rules to figuring out what it was. You can poke it, smell it, even eat it. It gets a lot of laughs.
After the party, I drove home in a pretty gnarly winter sleet storm to a hard working hubby who busted his back to finish cleaning the house for me. I did most of it, but he put the finishing polish on. He then took Grace on a daddy daughter date to Pirate Island, which turned in to a Daddy, Daughter, Uncle date, LOL. Apparently, as they were passing near my brother in law's house, Grace pointed out the window: "Aaron! Coming?" So Andy said, sure, why not, and invited his brother to dinner too.

The chocolate party was fun. We made monkey mash trifle (which I pretty much invented the day before), using leftover truffle brownies, dipped in melted milk chocolate, with sliced bananas, mascapone whipped with white chocolate pb, and chai tea dip, all layered together in delicious magnificence. One guest was even licking the bowl after everyone left! They also seemed to enjoy my chocolate mocktails (virgin cocktails), and I got at least 1 order for a bottle. I got 4 orders at the party, and have 6 other catalogs & forms out at the moment. I mentioned this before, but I also sent catalogs to work with the husband. I'm hoping they'll order enough to make my party qualify for some free chocolate!

Anyway, I could sure use some party bookings so I can afford more supplies. If you know anyone who loves chocolate like I do, point them my way!
I've left fliers at a couple of stores. I'd print more off, but Andy's computer died. Wonder if there's any way to hook my printer up to my laptop.

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Reversing Diabetes

Every once in a while you have one of those days where NOTHING, not even the worst of news, can ruin it. Today is one of those days.

I want to share my immense joy with all of you. Today I had my regular 3 month diabetes check up. My last check up, we talked about getting off of insulin & I had a blood test done where it said if there would be a chance or not. The results said I scraped by, by the spit on the gums of my teeth! So Clarene gave the nod to start SLOWLY weaning off of insulin. Well, being the bull-headed loose cannon that I can sometimes tend to be, I pretty much lasted a week on that plan & they decided "Uh-uh. No, we're done." And ripped out my insulin pump. I've been listening to it complain at me for a month to hook it back up to my gut.

So long story short, I haven't had insulin since the beginning of September. I was nervous, especially when I took a month off from the gym, and went bananas on Halloween. So you can imagine how absolutely FLOORED I was when my hA1c came back today at 5.7.

I said "WHAT! Are you KIDDING me?!" No kidding. I almost cried.

Ladies and gentlemen, I am slowly reversing my diabetes.

I did this to myself, and it's my job to undo it, and... I'M DOING IT! One day at a time. And you can too!

Other happy news: My weird little 2yo counted all the way to 12 today by herself.

Tuesday, November 16, 2010


Today I reached a new and exciting milestone. 75 pounds lost. That's nearly 8 ten-pound bags of potatoes! Only 25 pounds to go to my goal. It feels good to be 3/4 of the way done. I am proud that I will get to tell Clarene that I've officially lost 75 now. :)

Monday, November 15, 2010

Launch Party

Okay, so I've stalled on NaNoWriMo at 22k. It's okay, I'll catch up. I've just been so excited about Dove Chocolate Discoveries lately. I have my first party set up for this Wednesday, and then my official Launch Party on Saturday. I've already got 1 RSVP, and 2 others who said that they can't come, but would like to see the catalog. I am really looking forward to this!
I see Clarene for a check up on Thursday. I hope my hA1c is okay. I haven't had insulin since my last visit. She's going to be thrilled. And, yes, that WAS sarcasm. Halloween and a month off from the gym has no doubt wrecked my sugar levels. Well, I suppose it's always best to expect the worst and then be surprised by good news, right? Anyway, when she asks me what I've been doing, I'll confess to being naughty, and then I'll have the absolute gall to invite her to my party. I am sure she will ask how this is helping my diabetes, and I will gladly answer "Why, by increasing my desire to hit the gym so that I can have it, of course!"

Monday, November 8, 2010

Chugging Along and Chocolate

Word count continues to chug along at 18k today. Hoping to get to 20k tonight. Went to a chocolate tasting party at one of my friend's houses over the weekend. It was fun! I decided to become a chocolatier. I'm desperate to make new friends, and I thought what better way than to hide behind some sexy, edible, demo product! If any of my Utah friends would be interested in having a party (and eating chocolate), check out my website:

Let's get together, and, more importantly, EAT CHOCOLATE!

Thursday, November 4, 2010

2011 NaNoWriMo Idea

I thinks I just came up with a whacky 2011 NaNoWriMo plot idea. Twisted fairy tales. I know Into the Woods is kind of a mixed up fairy tale, but this one is inspired by Enchanted. There's a book in a high tower with all the Princess fairy tales ever told. Someone steals it and starts editing it. Imagine how it would shake up those princesses' worlds!

Tuesday, November 2, 2010

NaNoWriMo Rama

So as you may, or may not, know, November is National Novel Writing Month. During this time NaNoWriMo holds a world wide competition to crank out a 50,000 word novel in 30 days. I've participated in the past, but never finished. This year, I feel that I can really do it. In fact, I can't STOP writing. It's very exciting. I haven't written like this since I was a teenager.
So, for the next 30 days, don't expect to hear a lot from me ;)
I will be buried under a notebook, several pages of reference notes, and my new laptop.

To check up on how my novel is progressing, look me up on Nano:

Dr. Bork Bork's Author Page

Saturday, October 30, 2010

Trunk or Treat!

Happy Halloween weekend! Yesterday was Andy's birthday. We went to the Living Planet Aquarium.




It was also our church's annual trunk or treat last night. Andy & I spent the week creating the backdrop for photos. It's a 7 ft tall headless horseman on Friesian (there were 2 panels, and each was 10 ft tall).
Andy couldn't find the pirate costume he wanted to wear, so I told him it would be totally cute if he dressed in his jammies with a newspaper & a giant mug. Grace was a dirty little pirate (most adorable one at the party, if I do say so myself), and I was a DEAD tired runner (nyuck, nyuck). My runner tag says "Dead Last 666"





We will probably take Grace trick or treating tonight. her pirate shirt is dirty from make up, and she has a glow in the dark shirt with a black cat face on it. It would be easy & cute to just draw some whiskers on her face and take her around.

Have a safe weekend, everyone!

Saturday, October 23, 2010

6 O'Clock Inspiration

Lately Grace has had trouble sleeping through the night. It started when we took the small fan out of her room, because it was getting too cold for it. She would get up in the night and knock on her bedroom door, and we would hear her over the baby monitor, "Daaaaddy... Daaaddy... Potty." So I would kick Andy to go get her since she was calling for him. It's cruel, since the man has to get up at 5 in the morning on weekdays for work, but I justify it in my head with having let him sleep through most of Grace's infancy ;)
So he would go get her, put her on the potty, and she would do nothing. Either she wanted to play, or would say "Done" before he even got her diaper off. Needless to say, it was getting aggravating quickly. So we thought maybe it was because we took the fan out, and she needed white noise. We put it back in her room, and she slept through the night again, but she was up a few times the next. At this point, Mama Bear is getting grumpy. Being the mean mom I am, I would get up and answer her call for Daddy by growling at her to go to bed. "Potty?" "No, go to bed." "Potty! *Throw tantrum*", Mama Bear drags Little Gremlin back to bed. I don't know if she just wants a clean diaper or what, but that's what a diaper is for, right? If she's not going potty in the night when she says she has to, then the logical answer to me is for her to get over herself & go back to bed. We are tired of her crying wolf. Not sure what to do. She is day time potty trained, and has been accident free for a month now.
Anyway, this morning, around 6, I got the "Daaaddy" alarm and went to do my growly Mama Bear routine. She scampered back to bed in a hurry. I tried to go back to bed, but my head was too busy.
November is National Novel Writing Month (, and there's a world wide novel writing competition. 30 days. 50,000 words. Complete and unadulterated abandon. I have been trying to think of a plot idea for a month now, and NaNoWriMo is always in the back of my mind, year round. I was getting pretty frustrated with only 10 days left until the competition started. My only idea this year was Beauty & The Beast. So, okay, how do I redo Beauty & The Beast. Since it was the only idea I had so far, I started researching more of the story. Not just the Disneyized one (which I LOVE), but the original French tale. I used elements of several different versions, and then added some of my own ideas. So this morning, after my wake up call, I decided to boot up the computer and start naming characters, and come up with a more solid plot. Thank you, Grace, for 6 o'clock inspiration.
I got done close to 8, and Grace slept until just a few minutes ago.

Time to make the grocery list.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

Settling Down

After last month's betrayal, scandal, and drama, I feel like things are starting to settle down. I haven't been to gym since my birthday, and after 2 weeks I figured I'd just wait out the month to see if it might reset my metabolism and get it going to a solid 2-3 pound loss per week again. I have an appointment coming up with Clarene next month. I will have to confess that I haven't used my insulin pump since I saw her last. I can't believe it's already check up time. I hope my blood sugar holds together just a little bit longer.

Was checking my email today and came across a fat loss program that sounded pretty impressive. It's put out by the same company that I got a protein shake sample from that was very healthy and tasted pretty good. I'm contemplating investing in it. I know I've already got some nice muscle built up, I just need to shred this fat off my gut, thighs, and bum. Oh, and did I mention I have collarbones now? It's so dumb how tickled I am to feel collarbones for the first time as an adult.

And just to get back on track...
What the toddler ate today:

pillsbury toaster scrambler
1/2 cup strawberry milk, 1/2 cup almond milk
fruit & jello cup
popcorn chicken
rainbow gold fish crackers
babybel light cheese round
steamed vegetables
chicken bruschetta bake.
1 cup water
1/2 cup light hawaiian punch mixed with 1/2 cup water

Went away with some girlie friends for the weekend. It was much needed & helped me forget about recent drama. Props to friend Tara for letting me steal this pic of us with our other friend, Macy.

Oh and I did an all girls 6k on the 9th. My friend, Laura, finished ahead of me, and said I was really trucking across the finish line. I felt like I was smokin', especially when photographer guy jumped out in front & snapped this pic:

Somewhere under that ginormous blue coat is a chubby white Kenyan! While there I signed up to be an assistant couch for Girls On The Run. It's a program for girls with lower self esteem. I was one of those girls once upon a time, and wanted to join and teach them that things get better down the road.

Looking forward to picking up hubby early today, and he said we might take Grace to Cornbellys after dinner. Yay for family time! When the three of us are together doing fun stuff, it makes me:

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Sorting It Out

So she finally sent me a text on my phone today. She was upset that I had been talking to her family about her, and wanted me to stay out of her business and life. I told her I was concerned for her, and I finally got to tell her how I felt. I think we got to the point where she calmed down a little and we were able to talk more like adults, but I never knew anyone could make my hands shake so much. I really wish, still, that she would just sit down and talk to me about things instead of running from it. At least talking things out might help us move on/forward.

The last few days have had me thinking about it all, and still reeling and wondering. Are we meant to be friends still? Should I let it go? Is this some kind of test the Lord is giving me? And if it is, what kind of person do I want to become at the end of it?

I'm struggling with sorting it all out.

Monday, October 4, 2010


To my friend who made the week of my birthday the worst one ever:

I don't think you'll answer your phone if I try to call you, and I have some things to say to you.

I deserve closure. I deserve to sit down with you and look you in the eye and be told why and how you did this to us. Did I do something to upset you? Were you trying to get even? I wonder if I did anything wrong to cause you to go off the deep end. I'm not upset that you did it, I'm upset that you're too much of a coward to just talk to me about what happened. I can't believe anything you say anymore. I do believe you are very sick, but I don't think it's cancer, and I hope you get help.
I don't know how to feel inside, except really mixed up. You called me your best friend, your sister, and you betrayed your family.

I pray for you, and I love you, and I hate that I've had to file charges against you, my best friend. Enjoy the head start on running from the authorities, and I hope I can look you in the eye some day and get the closure you've denied me.

Saturday, October 2, 2010

Coyote Ugly

She ran. She left us high and dry, and the card company says we're responsible for the charges since
1) we knew who made the charges
2) we gave her a grace period to pay us back.

All we can do at this point is file a police report. I don't know what happens after that, but I do know we don't have $2,000 to pay this card.

I'm officially no longer a fan of money.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Mrs. Trish's Wild Ride

How do you react when you discover that everything you believed to be true was a total lie? Do you beat yourself up about it? Do you wonder what you did wrong to cause it to happen? Do you shut out the world long enough to regroup?

The last week has pretty much sucked. Wednesday one of my best friends told me she had stage 3 ovarian cancer. Thursday was my birthday. I was bummed, but we still made a good day of it. Hubby stayed home to take a test for school, but there was some paperwork his professors didn't fill out so he had to go back later for it. We went to gym together, and I got to show him around the weight room for the first time. I was positive he could lift more than I could, but it turns out I am 10 lbs stronger. Whee! We went to Jason's Deli for lunch, and I got my first pair of really nice running shoes before dinner. Dinner was Pizza Hut. Yum! Haven't had it in a while.

Friday friend with cancer was supposed to go to dinner and movie with her kids. Grace was so excited to see her "cousins", well they didn't make it over here before we left, but said they'd meet us at theater. They never showed. I was upset. We were planning a sleepover that night to go to Lagoon on Saturday, which also never happened. Instead, hubby & I took Grace to the Zoo. We had a great day together until I noticed that Grace had thick pussy discharge coming from her tear ducts. In the course of an hour it went from cream colored, to yellow, to neon green. I called my mom for momformation. "Uh, Ma, what does pink eye look like?" She assured me it wasn't pink eye.
After zoo we went to dinner with Andy's brother.
Sunday I woke up sick, and slept through most of Sunday & Monday.

Monday Andy stayed home to help take care of Grace. I dozed whenever she sat on my tummy to watch kid shows. I had some post nasal drip, and it hurt to swallow. Not sore throat swallow, but more swollen gland hurt. While hubby went grocery shopping, I snorted up giant cancer-looking THING. Everything started draining afterwards, and I felt better. Gross, I know, but at least I'm on the mend now.
Tuesday my entire world was turned upside down.

I found out my best friend with cancer had fraudulently used one of my credit cards and had been lying about it to us all summer. We called her bluff, and it's not been fun since. We gave her an ultimatum: Pay by Friday, or Fraud.

Tonight we called some of her family to see if she had mentioned her cancer to them, cuz you'd think she'd mention it to them, right? They had no clue.

Please tell me the week will only get better now that Wednesday is over! It doesn't though. It's all so very ugly. I feel like my heart has been ripped out. I don't know what to believe anymore.

I guess on the upside, I've dropped down to 178, but it's mostly from sleeping so much that I haven't eaten.

Oh, and Grace's pussy eyes? Yeah, we took her to pediatrician. Pink eye BOTH eyes (thanks for that reassurance, Ma, lol. Go with your gut, right?), ear infection both ears, sinus infection, and a cold. She's on her 2nd round of antibiotics for the month. You'd never know she was sick, she bounces around like a little monkey.

I'm getting better, minus feeling completely heartsick inside.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010


My birthday's tomorrow.

My birthday's tomorrow & one of my best friends just told me she has cancer.

Not saying that this weekend will suck, but it's definitely a killjoy. I don't mean to sound selfish, but with other personal problems I'm dealing with right now, I'm hurting. Birthdays are depressing enough without being told your bestie has cancer.

Happy birthday to me.

Sunday, September 19, 2010

Too Much Cake!

Yesterday was a toddler birthday alapalooza. In the morning we went to one birthday party, filled with pizza, soda, candy, and massive cake, immediately followed by a second toddler birthday party with more cake, a BBQ, and well... you get the idea.
By the evening I was totally disinterested in food and barely finished off 1 fajita. The rest of the night I was sick to my stomach & had a headache. If any part of this year was spent planning on a food binge for my birthday to the point I had a hangover the next morning, all plans are OFF! My body is definitely not used to eating over 2000 cals of crap in a day. Today I am trying to stay as close to 1,000 cals under my daily limit as possible, while still staying coherent. Hey, bad eating choices have harsh consequences. The rest of the week, I will be staying within my calories. Yes, even my birthday, and the following weekend.
It's going to be a good week.
Tomorrow I have my "yearly", which I'm not entirely looking forward to. I don't know what to do with Grace as she's sneezing snot rockets, so I can't really leave her with anyone I know cuz they all have kids. However, I will be discussing with the OB/GYN the possibility of being allowed to go into labor naturally the next time I'm pregnant. I'm sure a 70 lb weight loss will be helpful for my case.
In the evening I have Primary presidency meeting, but we are meeting at The Chocolate. YUM! The president said she would buy me a slice of cake since it's my birthday this week.
Thursday is my birthday. I'm not quite sure what we're doing other than getting a movie in the evening and splitting a P'Zone from Pizza Hut. I don't think I've had one in at least 6 months. We would be going out, except that Andy gets paid on Friday, so it seems silly to go out on my birthday. It's easier to wait. Besides, Legend of the Guardians comes out on Friday. Oh, and we're going to Lagoon on Saturday, yay!
Will keep you posted.

Friday, September 17, 2010

Coping With Fabulosis & Austastism

If you are anything like me, you suffer daily from a rare condition. This condition is called Austastism. It can be highly contagious when spending time around awesome people. One contracts Austastism when they reach a a fantastic level of epic awesomeness. Likewise, you may also know someone with chronic Fabulosis. Fabulosis occurs when one reaches a colossus level of Fabulousness. Side effects of both conditions may include, but are not limited to, inspiring others, achieving daily goals, and transforming from Super Mom to Superman!
I hope when you meet someone who suffers from these diseases that you will be understanding and supportive of them.

Today when I weighed in, I kissed the 180s goodbye, and said hello to 179.8. I was going to go to the gym, but Fu woke up and was sneezing snot rockets. Why, after 2 rounds of antibiotics, are we doing the snot rocket thing again? *Sigh* So instead of going to gym, we went grocery shopping and I went crazy on Greek yogurt. I don't like the Yoplait or Oikos Greek yogurts, but I do like Dannon's, and it was on sale 10 for $10. I couldn't find all of the items on my list at the first store, so I went to Target where I found Fage & Chobani Greek Yogurt. They were more expensive, but I've heard good things about them, so I got a few. The Chobani peach Greek yogurt ended up replacing my lunch of garlic herb shrimp. I don't regret my choice. I've also had good self control today over the Popcornopolis. So far I've only had 1/2 a cup of Kettlecorn.
Tonight we are seeing our chiropractor, who I believe also suffers from Fabulosis (he got me started on my weight loss journey, and can fix ANYTHING!). I dread having my lower back & hips adjusted. Everything up until there is fine, but as soon as he goes to adjust that area, I'm in utter pain, snarling naughty Mormon cuss words, and crying.

Tonight we're having cheeseburger wraps for dinner. It's a slightly less naughty version of a cheeseburger. It's lean, ground beef, with shredded lettuce, tomato, pickles, velveeta, and condiments, served in a wrap (we are using lite flour tortillas tonight, which are only 100 cals).

What I ate today (1306 cals):
1 ginormous protein shake (2 scoop body fortress vanilla whey protein powder, 8 oz lactose free fat free milk, 1 banana, a ton of ice cubes)
1 Kashi TLC honey almond flax granola bar
1 Chobani peach Greek yogurt
1/2 cup Popcornopolis Kettle Corn
1 Cheeseburger Wrap
64-90 oz water

1 pillsbury toaster scrambler
16 oz almond milk
4 quaker mini rice cakes
8 oz Tropicana light fruit punch
1 buffalo chicken wing with ranch
Cheeseburger wrap fixins
1 fruit cup

Thursday, September 16, 2010

Hot Dog!

So I was hoping to be under 180 today after burning off nearly 1/2 a lb in calories yesterday. Not quite. 180.6. So close!
I noticed last night that hot dogs are on the dinner menu today. I didn't really want to go out and buy buns, since I wasn't planning on eating any, and Grace usually won't eat them, so Andy would've been the only bun eater. Really? A pack of buns for 1 hot dog. Seems silly. So I asked the man if he minded having his dogs on a piece of bread. He said he'd survive. So you can imagine my joy this morning to receive a coupon from Sonic for a free coney dog! The man gets a hot dog WITH bun, and Grace & I can just have a hot dog at home. I think it works out.

Today I had leftover salad from Friday or Saturday. It was still safe to eat, and I added some mozzarella pearls for protein, but I only made it half way through before gagging. My system said I'M DONE! I suspect it's from eating 2 whole cups of Popcornopolis before lunch.

What I ate/going to eat today:
29 Kashi Island Vanilla biscuits (it's like shredded wheat)
8 oz almond milk
1 scoop body fortress whey vanilla protein powder
2 cups assorted Popcornopolis
1/2 spring greens salad with tomato, cucumber, salad pizazz, and mozzarella pearls
1 cup Del Monte no sugar added diced peaches
1 Oscar Mayer 98% fat free hot dog w/mustard
90 oz water

16 oz almond milk
1 single self-serve bowl of regular cheerios
1 cup Popcornopolis
2 Farm Rich chicken, cheese, bacon sandwich melts
1 cup del monte no sugar added mandarin oranges
1 bag gold fish
8 oz Tropicana light Fruit Punch
1 Oscar mayer 98% fat free hot dog w/condiments

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

A Thousand Cals by Lunch!

I've had a desire for a while now to get up very early in the morning and go work out (either run at the gym, or... something!), because I've read you burn more calories on an empty stomach.
Well last night I conked out at 9:30, and woke up at 5. I realized, in a sleepy haze, i didn't have to go to the gym to work out... I had a Wii! So I rolled out of bed, turned my Wii Biggest Loser on, and strapped on my HRM. I chose the intense 70 min core workout and burned over 400 cals in an hour. After I caught my breath, I got dressed for the gym. Grace woke up shortly thereafter, and we had breakfast. I had some Kashi Oatmeal with a banana and milk, and Grace had a pillsbury toaster scrambler (which took her FOREVER to eat). Got to the gym and put in a solid 1.4 mile jog on the TM, followed by weights, followed by returning to the TM and putting in another 2.07 miles. So I burned nearly 1,000 calories before lunch!
I feel good, and deserve a nap!
Going to try to go for a walk tonight to burn some more cals, just for kicks.

My Popcornopolis arrived today. Eight glorious pounds! The toddler chose white chocolate macadamia nut to sample first. I wanted Popcornopolis instead of cake for my birthday this year. It's healthier, and I just genuinely love it. Though, that probably won't stop me from actually getting cake from The Chocolate on my birthday.

Before I nap, here's what we ate today (and are eating)

2 packs of Kashi all natural oatmeal
1/2 cup of Darigold fat free lactose-free milk
1 banana
1/2 cup Popcornopolis
1 Healthy Choice Lemon Herb Chicken
24 Blue Diamond Cinnamon Sugar Almonds
1/2 cup Stagg Chili
1 baked potato (sans toppings)
1 babybell mini cheddar wheel
100+ oz water (aiming for 120, will probably get 112)

1 pillsbury bacon, egg, cheese scrambler
1 Uncrustable pb&j
4 quaker mini rice cakes
1 cup of mandarin oranges
1/2 cup Popcornopolis
1/4 cup Stagg Chili
1 small baked potato (sans toppings)
1 babybell mini cheddar wheel
8 oz tropicana light fruit punch
16 oz almond milk

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

The Picky Eaters Club

So as I've gotten better about my own eating habits, I've also become more conscience about the food I feed my daughter. The problem is, Grace is the president of The Picky Eaters Club. Example? How about HOWLING, near-tantrum level about how hungry she is the hour before dinner, while I'm cooking dinner, and then completely turning her nose up at dinner when it's served. It drives me cocoa-bananas.
So, with the help of a fellow mom friend, I decided to try new battle tactics. I eliminated her snacks, in place of trying to give her a healthy meal. I incorporated her snacks into the meal itself, and holy moly, she's actually sitting through dinner, and, most nights, eating it!
My goal for next year is to eat really clean, so I've been trying to get into the practice now. Grace is also benefitting from it. Today's lunch:

5 pieces of popcorn chicken (which she requested 5 more of after finishing her entire meal)
1/2 small bag of graham goldfish
1 go gurt
1 Minute Maid juice box
1 Mini cheddar Babybell

She had fruit this morning with breakfast, and she'll have veggies & some leftover cous cous at dinner with grilled tilapia. That covers all the food groups, right? Protein, dairy, grains, fruits, veggies. Oh, and we're still counting chocolate as a food group, in itself, so we've both had a serving of dark chocolate roasted almonds by Blue Diamond.

I'm trying to be a good mom. I NEVER want my kids to go through what I went through as a fat, little kid. I don't think I would have suffered that if my parents kept tighter control over what I ate.

I dunno if it will help other parents out there, but I'm thinking of posting our meal plans every so often.

Oh, and I finally got a pair of jeans to survive the winter. Size 8 Faded Glory-- a big step down from the 24s I was wearing last year ;)

Saturday, September 4, 2010

Skinny Jeans

So a couple of days ago I was at Walmart with a friend. I'm slowly coming to accept that I'm going to need a new pair of jeans for the colder months soon. I grabbed the sizes I'm in now, and bravely grabbed a size 6 as well. I squeaked into the 6's. Hooray for ab muscles that can really suck it in!
I had a really awful muffin top, but the point is I got those 6's buttoned and zipped, hahaha. I'm not stopping at a 6 though. I'd like to slide into a 4 by this time next year. I think 6 & 4 are going to be my skinny jeans.

The gym has been closed for yearly maintenance since August 23. I'm down to 183 today, but I'm pretty sure it's from muscle loss. I've been doing Wii Biggest Loser to help maintain some fitness, and Grace has found herself useful as an occasional 25 lb barbell. Can't wait for the gym to reopen. I made some really good progress in the weight room right before it closed, so I'm eager to get back.
I also took Clarene's desire for me to stay in the 140s to heart and moved my goal weight from 135 to 148. That's still a 100 lb loss. No shame in that. It means I get more calories, too, which I'll need in order to build muscle and torch fat.

C'mon, giant gut, get lost! Mama wants a pair of 6's.

Monday, August 23, 2010

Insulin Shminsulin!

Last week I had my regular three month check up with my diabetes practitioner, Clarene. After showing her the pants, we talked about the possibility of getting off of insulin. I had a blood test done, and was patiently waiting for results... all week.
I didn't realize until Saturday that our answering machine was full, and I thought "I wonder how many calls are on voice mail". Voice mail was pretty busy, too! Clarene had called... TWICE! Argh! She gave me her cell phone number, but I didn't want to bother her at home. I mean, really, who wants to be bothered by their patients at home on their days off? So I waited until today (Monday). That was fun, because I spent a good deal of the morning playing phone tag. I called her, but she was in with a patient, so I left a message. Then, while I was on the phone with another doctor, she called. I called her back, but she was in with another patient. She called me on her lunch break with the test results.

Great news. I have a once in a lifetime opportunity to reverse my diabetes. She said that getting off of insulin is a possibility. So that's what I'm going to spend time working toward. This journey isn't about weight loss any more. It's about righting a wrong. I feel as though I brought this disease upon myself, and it's my job to chase it off. If there's even the tiniest of possibilities, I'm going after it.
I'm optimistic. Yesterday I took off my insulin pump and have been too lazy to put it back on. I had a horribly sugary snack last night before bed. One that would spike anyone's sugar (torched ginormous campfire marshmallow, smooshed between two keebler fudge grahams, and washed down with chocolate milk, anyone?)
My sugar was 133 this morning. BOO-YAH! Up to 120 prior to eating breakfast is terrific. Considering that atrocity I ate before bed with no medication, I think 133 is pretty fabu, too.

So the goal is to:
1) stop being lazy & put my pump back on after I finish typing this post
2) gradually dial down the amount of insulin I take on a daily basis until I don't take it anymore.

It's a long road, but if it means I can cure diabetes, I'll travel it. I hope to look you in the eye one day and tell you: "If you're diabetic, there's a cure for it. It's YOU."

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Hump Day

Wednesday is commonly referred to as hump day. Ever since Friday, I've been pushing myself to run for at least 20 mins straight, because, really, there's no excuse not to anymore, knowing that I can do it. The hump today was 25. I ran to 25, walked 1 minute, and ran to 31, then did intervals and finished TM run at 4.05 miles in an hour, and 677 calories torched. That means I can has a treat tonight, and it will be guilt free, cuz I have the calories for it.

Yesterday I had my 3 month diabetes checkup. I showed my doctor THE PANTS. The pants are what I wore a year ago, size 24. She was so floored she had me show the nurses, who were equally impressed. I asked my doc about getting off of insulin, and she sent me down to the lab for a blood test. Still waiting to hear results. My hA1c came back 6.2 though, which is good. My goal is to have my diabetes under such tight control by the time we have kid #2, that the doctor let me go into labor on my own. I loathed being induced.

Anyway, hard workout warrants nap and hard-earned treat tonight :)

Friday, August 13, 2010

Fat Friday

Many people consider Friday the 13th to be the unluckiest day of the year. Luckily for me, it isn't.

Today I became fat. I hit 185. That's right, folks, I am no longer obese! Just some chubby chick who is only getting healthier and stronger by the day. To mark the occasion, I wore my shirt that says Proud to be Awesome. I then proceeded to FINALLY break through the couch to 5k program week 5 twenty-minute barrier that so many people struggle with. It wasn't as hard as I feared. I simply needed to suck it up and get over myself. I set the treadmill low and slow at 4.2 mph and trotted from just under the 5 min mark to the 25 min mark. Then I hit the weight room and moved 15 tons... cuz that's what fat people do!

I can do hard things now. My body is capable of amazing feats, and it's only going to get better from here on out. My goals for the next few weeks is to keep jogging a mile every time I step on that treadmill. I'm worth the effort. Eventually that mile will turn into two, and then three. There's an all girl's 5k/10k in October I'd like to do with my girlie friends. Now's a great time to get serious about training again, knowing what I'm capable of.

If this chubby white Kenyan can do hard things, imagine what you can do. And don't let ANYONE tell you that you can't. Just go out there, do it, and shove it in the doubters' faces! Blow raspberries while you're at it ;)

Friday, August 6, 2010

Answering Service

I love our new "answering service".
When Andy & I see an unfamiliar number in the evening (usually a telemarketer), we let Grace answer. We tell her it's for her, and to pick up the phone. Being the sweet, helpful, obedient, and very social two-year-old she is, she obliges.
"Lello? Uh-huh. Elephant. Phhhht! Buh-bye." *click*

I'd almost feel sorry for the telemarketer if listening to her carry on a conversation wasn't so gosh darn funny.

Great news, by the way, I saw a glimpse of 185 yesterday. Then I blew it by splurging on a hot pastrami, swiss, kraut, and deli mustard sandwich for lunch. Got back down to 186.2 today, but didn't workout. I feel as though I ate pretty healthy today, though. I had a bowl of kashi cereal for breakfast with a whole banana, pineapple chicken for lunch, fruit for afternoon snack, skinless chicken thigh, peppered veggies, and pasta roni for dinner, and even snuck in some dark chocolate gelato. Should probably hit the gym tomorrow so I'm not a total hoser.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

New Goals In Mind

Okay, so hubby had a point when he said I lost my oomph after my cousin's wedding. I had something to look toward, because I wanted to impress my family enough that they would want to change, too, and get healthy. Now that I don't have a goal to work towards, I'm kind of in limbo and not being as careful with my eating and exercise as I was before. So I obviously need new goals.

Short Term Goals:
Get to 150 lbs by Christmas
Take 6 inches off my waist by my birthday in September (that's a tall order of 3 inches this month and next)
Run 30 mins nonstop

Long Term Goals:
Do a pull up
Do a 1 armed push up
Run a half marathon
Have a body like a jockey (dude, they are buff!)

And continue to believe in 6 impossible things before breakfast! (the long term goals are a good start)

We went grocery shopping yesterday. We got a huge flat of strawberries. They are already almost gone. I had Andy cut them up last night, except for 10 which I dipped in dark chocolate (a decadent way to get TONS of antioxidants in while getting a heavy chocolate fix).
Can't wait for dinner tonight. We're having homemade veggie supreme pizza.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Daily Burn

For the last few months, I've been using a website called Daily Burn in tandem with My Fitness Pal to help me achieve my weight loss goals. I like Daily Burn because it is more visual than MFP. It tells me exactly how many calories I burned each day, and how much weight I should be able to lose each week. It also helps me target basic nutritional areas better, such as protein, carbs, fat, etc. However, MFP had a few more features for free than DB did.
Anyway, long story short, I decided to upgrade on DB for more of their specialized features. I intend to continue using MFP as well. With my new upgraded account on DB, I have access to more workout/training plans (which is good, because outside of running, biking, swimming, and elliptical, I'm pretty clueless), and it also lets me know how many servings of each food group I need to eat each day. This is something I struggle with. I'm protein deficient on a daily basis, so I eat a lot of protein bars and shakes to make up for it. Having something tell me "Hey, you need to eat some fruit & veggies today!" is going to be really good for my overall health. It also makes up a grocery list for me when I plan out my meals in advance, which is kind of nifty. If I see a daily reminder to eat x amount of fruit, veggies, grains, etc, it's going to benefit everyone, since I do the food prep on most days. It will be a visual reminder to feed DD & hubby some good stuff, too.
Definitely need to add some Over The Moon chocolate milk to the list though, since I don't get enough dairy (and it's really high in protein anyway).

In other news, Grace picked up the word "Delicious" recently. Mostly if she likes a food, she'll make a big deal about it. "Mmm, yum, 'licious!"
And she's had a cough since last Thursday, so I haven't been able to go to the gym during the day. She thinks it's pretty funny to growl at me with this nasty little bug in her chest. She sounds terrible when she does it, like she's going to die or something, but she laughs hysterically. I laugh cuz it's just this awful little noise. Part Gremlin, part Darth Vader.

Monday, July 26, 2010

Where Do I Belong?

My parents divorced when I was 8. My Dad remarried 2 years later, and my mom remarried when I was 11. Ever since the divorce, I've always felt torn between worlds. In all honesty I resent my father. I've had hard feelings toward him since I was a teenager. At my wedding he said he wanted to be part of my life more, and I wanted him to, too, but there hasn't been much effort since then. I know it goes both ways, but still. More recently he told me he doesn't have anything to say to me. I know he meant he doesn't know what to say, but I still feel like I'm done. I really don't want to have any part with him or his family. I don't feel wanted. I know they say they love me and want me to come visit, but I'm more disinclined to acquiesce.

The guy my mom married is a good guy. As rough around the edges as a crusty lump of coal, but a good guy. Their marriage has always been rocky. My mom wants things done her way, NOW. Now being, like, 10 days ago. She's also not the most physically affectionate person. This can grate pretty hard on a guy. Unfortunately, I feel that my step dad's anger & frustration with his marriage often got taken out on me. He was always convinced I was trying to make trouble when, really, I was terrified of him and just wanted to hide in my room and be left alone. I felt like I was in an abusive home and just wanted O-U-T.
Fortunately I was smart enough to realize that my step dad was more of a dad to me than my father. After I got married and moved out, my mom and step dad separated. They have the weirdest relationship. They go out together, do their taxes together, you get the idea. Sometimes my step dad will call me to say "Trish, your mother's being nice to me. What does she want?"
Heck if I know!
In more recent years, my step dad and I have made amends and he's now Grace's "Papa". My dad hasn't shown much interest in Grace, except for the obligatory birthday & important-holiday card, but my step dad has.

This weekend we went up to Idaho for a family reunion on my step-dad's side. I admit to being nervous and feeling out of place on the way. I hadn't seen much of my step family since their father (Awesomest old guy EVER) passed away several years ago. What business did I have going to their reunion? Inside, I felt awkward. My nerves were put to rest when a ginormous family quilt was unveiled at the luncheon on Saturday. At the top were my step-grandparents names, then their kids. Around each of their kids were listed their sons and daughter's names. Each of us were color coded, so everyone knew who belonged to who. In the area of my step dad's kids were his children... and me... and Andy and Grace. I felt so humbled. I belonged to a family.

(From left to right: Andy, Grace, Me, Grandma, and my Step Dad)

Some other pics from the reunion:

Grace on the Centennial Carousel at Porter Park

Grace munching:

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Mental Health Check

First of all, there was some skinny chic skulking around my daughter's birthday party in my favorite shirt!

and the Kai Lan cupcake cake we got her was awesome, both visually and deliciously!

They were held together, both top and bottom, with frosting. I ate most of the stuff on the bottom, and had an epic tummy ache. It was awesome!

Now it is a known fact that my brain doesn't think in a straight line. Most people will start a conversation about toast, and what they like on it, and I will pipe in with some random thing that, in my head, totally relates to toast. Everyone will look at me with blank stares as if I just spoke in Klingon. The problem is my brain goes at light speed, and the rest of me can never keep up. Even when I write, my mind is already several paragraphs ahead, despite my impressive 90 wpm typing speed. Even when I speak, my words come out like sludge and sometimes stuttering jargon that frustrates me. Thankfully, I have a wonderful husband who totally gets me and a kid who loves me just as much a new puppy.
The thing is everything I just told you has nothing to do with the first 2 paragraphs, but does have to do with my daily mental health.
The fact that my brain goes so fast is both a blessing and a curse. It enables me to reel off novels and pedigrees of superhuman racehorses, memorize 5 minute-long monologues for auditions in less than an 45 mins, and give great talks at church on the fly, but I can't seem to communicate when I talk face to face with someone. It's painful when I try, unless I'm totally calm and comfortable with the person I'm speaking to, which is rare. Normally, when I know you kinda sorta "get" me, I'm more relaxed and make more sense. Otherwise, I speak in Klingon.

Now what I'm going to tell you totally relates to the previous paragraph in my head, but you probably won't see the connection.

My favorite Disney princess is Belle. Ever since I was a fat, little 10 year old, I secretly dreamed of being her. She was smart, beautiful, and independent-- everything I was not. Everything I still think I'm not, especially the last two. Although a week on the single mom scene while hubby, Andy, was away for work helped with the independence thing a little.
Anyway, last night I dreamed I was at my goal weight. Hubby & I were at a very fancy winter ball, and I totally looked like Belle. I woke up happy, but with that feeling you sometimes get that you shouldn't dare to hope it. Years ago I dreamed I was super skinny and looked a little bit like Peter Pan (another childhood hero). That one was fun, too, but the Belle dream sort of reignites in me the desire to keep working toward my goals. I remember thinking in my dream "Wow. Wait till Andy sees me."

Although, in all consideration, I should be proud of me now. I just wish I could accept compliments better. Tomorrow night we see our bishop, and I'll ask him for a referral for a LDS Family mental health person. Maybe I can become that girl I saw in my dream. I thought losing all this weight would help me feel better about myself. Honestly it does, a little, but not much.

Lastly, just when I thought no one was reading, my blog won an award for health & fitness. I'm honored that there are people out there whose lives I can touch and help them realize they are priceless in the eyes of God. That they are worth the effort of getting healthy and realizing their infinite potential. And if this blog is helping to do that, why stop at just one award? I've nominated it for the blogger's choice awards in four categories, too. So if any of the posts in this blog have ever touched you in some way, please vote for it by clicking either of the buttons on the upper right.

If you need a little more inspiration, the chubby white Kenyan here ran a 1 min interval on 8 today. It was kind of like being on a roller coaster. You know that part where you're screaming, kinda sorta wanna puke, and not quite sure if you're gonna live? Yeah, total adrenaline rush! You should try it some time. It's a real thriller.

I discovered recently I can also move more than 11 tons in an hour in the weight room. I think that's pretty cool, too.

Keep fighting your own dragons, cuz every magnificent hero must slay them in order to get from Once Upon a Time... to Happily Ever After. Even Belle did ;)

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

An Empire State of Mine or The Big, Fat, Irish-Korean Wedding

I know it's been a while, and I have no excuses. June 16, I went to New York for my cousin's wedding. Grace went with me. She thoroughly enjoyed the plane trip there. I was worried about how she'd handle it. My mom paid for my ticket, and Grace was young enough that she could ride as a lap child. I was really nervous about not having our car seat on the plane. Grace stared out the window of the plane for at least an hour, fascinated by all the clouds. I was very proud of her. She was such a good girl! Mom held her for most of the two flights to NY. Once there, we got our bags and waited for mom to secure a rental car. She wasn't happy with it when she pulled around, so back to the rental lot we went, and waited in the car while mom went off to have a talking-to with the rental people. Meanwhile, Grace is in the back seat going "Uh-oh. Trouble. Uh-oh, Nana. Nana, trouble." I sat laughing & explained to my almost 2-year-old that this was something she would grow used to. If Nana wasn't in trouble, she was making some. Finally we got everything straightened out, go settled into our hotel, and went to dinner. All the while my ears are popping, and it's incredibly painful. Did I mention the last 20 mins of a plane ride are a nightmare for me? I just hide my head and try not to cry. The pressure has always bothered me, even when I gnash away at chewing gum.

The next morning, I woke up at 5. I laid in bed a minute. I hadn't slept too well, being too worried about seeing my family for the first time in almost a decade. I thought I should probably check out the fitness room, get it out of the way for the day, but it was 5. Who the heck gets up at 5 in the morning to workout... ON VACATION? I do.
So I tiptoed quietly about our darkened room, pulling my things together. I spent almost 2 hours in the fitness room of our hotel. 1 hour on the TM, then more time doing weights. It was a small room, not much bigger than the common American living room, but it had what I needed. I got back to our room drenched. Ma & Grace were still sleeping. I waited till Grace got up to shower, so we could both be squeaky clean and pleasant smelling for the family.
I can't remember how it came up, but at lunch that afternoon my mom told me to tell my favorite aunt what I had been doing that morning. I told her I was at the gym... on vacation... at 5 in the morning, which is really 3 in the morning here at home. She said I was nuts. I figured as much. It runs in the family.

The next few days were filled with loud, very stressed out Irish relatives all yelling at eachother as we prepared for the wedding, and super naughty food. My aunt seemed very supportive of my new lifestyle, and tried to buy me food I could eat. "What do you want? I don't know what you eat. What do I feed you?", but whenever I'd open my mouth, my mom would give me the evil eye. I was sort of stuck between a rock and a hard place. My mom didn't want us to be a financial burden on anyone, especially with my "special diet". I told her it's not a special diet, it's how I live my life. She was also very concerned that I'm starving myself to lose weight, which she added a few days later that I eat too much. Huh?! Yeah, I told you this family is crazy. To reinforce the craziness, I continued to wake up at 6 every morning and hit the gym. Yes there were days I didn't want to get out of bed, but I went, and stuck with the program. Because healthy food wasn't really available to me, I ended up getting sick on vacation one day. My stomach hurt so much, and I had the runs like nobody's business. Luckily, a yogurt ended up chasing most of the discomfort away (hooray for natural cultures!). Around the same time, my family decided to hit White Castle for belly bombers. If you've never had one, it really is something to try. It's sort of a rite of passage in my family. They're these little sliders of cheeseburger death. I let Grace have one (again, rite of passage), but passed on it myself, and laughed all the way back to my aunt's house while everyone belly ached about their belly ache.
I offered multiple times to cook for my family, but nobody took me up on my offer. It was a week of fast food and feeling really gross. At the wedding, everyone kept telling me how amazing and beautiful I looked.
I kept looking around to see who they were talking to.
I guess I'm still getting used to compliments.

The day before we went home, my aunt took Grace to the local aquarium. They had a pool of little rays who were SUPER friendly. They would come right out of the water and let you pet them. I tried to get Grace to pet one. The noise that came out of that kid's mouth was somewhere between terrified and "THIS IS AWESOME!". It was the funniest little screech. I was rolling.


The trip home was not so fun. Grace was kind of a bear the whole way. To start off, we got out on the tarmac in NY and sat for a while, before being informed that there was a nation-wide shut down of all aircraft in and out of Chicago (where we were stopping first). So they took us back to the terminal. We were delayed 2 hours in total, but we thought it might be okay since we had a 2 hour lay over in Phoenix. Maybe this delay would mean we wouldn't have much of a layover. We get to Chicago, and get out on the tarmac, and we're informed that there will be a further delay while we're re-routed. Joy. We stay optimistic, hoping our plane in Phoenix will wait 20 mins for half of its passengers on the plane we're riding. We get to Phoenix only to find our plane left. We had a 2 hour layover. Nobody was amused. I just wanted to get home to my own bed, healthy food, and normal life again. I think Grace felt the same way as she got upset whenever I'd restrain her from running down the tunnel to any incoming planes. She knows the plane takes her to daddy, does it really matter which one? Let's just get on one already!
We finally got home around midnight, a good 4 hours after we were supposed to be home.
Grace got to see her new room, which I had spent most of June cleaning out in preparation for her move. Andy did a bang up job with it. I will have to post pictures soon as we still haven't gotten it decorated.
My studio got moved into the tiny, time-share kitchen-sized space of our bedroom. It's pretty scary. I fell into bed with a "yeah-right" mentality about attacking it. It's insane.

Mom stayed on with us a few days. I fell out of the routine I had spent so hard maintaining. I'm just getting back into it now. Luckily I've still been losing.

Will post again soon with the story of Grace's birthday. The length of this one is getting out of hand and my brother-in-law needs help running a few errands.

Keep fighting your dragons!

Friday, June 11, 2010

Joy In The Journey

Today was weigh in day. Nothing. Blah. I've been hovering between 188 & 191 for over a week now. I'd like to move on. 185 is a big number for me, and I want to get there soon. 185 means no longer obese for me. Today I lowered my weight loss goal from 2 lbs a week to 1 lb, in order to increase my daily calorie intake. I've been hungry for them, so maybe eating a bit more will help get me going again.
Recently I was asked to speak at Enrichment Night at church about my weight loss journey. After I bawled like an idiot, I got the message across. Last year I weighed almost 250 lbs, and slept 16 hours a day because I didn't have the energy to do much else. I felt like I was failing in my marriage because I didn't love myself, and I didn't want to be touched... and why would my husband ever love me the way I was? So I decided something had to change. That something was me. Then I showed them the size 24 jeans I started my journey in, and proceeded to climb into 1 leg. Yes, all of me fits into 1 leg of those jeans. They were floored. I told them I went from a size 24 to a size 8, that I had a 50" waist, and now it's 32". I've taken 10" from my hips, and 10" from my thighs. I told them they could do it too, that it was all about choices. Food doesn't make us fat. Food CHOICES make us fat. I told them if they could see themselves the way the Lord sees them, they would realize their infinite beauty & potential. They just have to CHOOSE.

In the words of one of my current favorite songs: Always gonna be another mountain. I'm always gonna wanna make it move. Always gonna be an uphill battle. Sometimes I'm gonna have to lose. DOESN'T MATTER HOW FAST I GET THERE. DOESN'T MATTER WHAT'S WAITING ON THE OTHER SIDE. IT'S THE CLIMB.... Remember, friends, even when you have crappy weigh ins, take joy in your journey, and find the positive things about it to help keep you going. I may not be the weight I want to be now, but I've taken more than 3 feet off of my body, can do a 5k in 45 mins, and fit into sizes I've NEVER fit into before (or dared to dream of). "It's sad when we give up the things we REALLY want for the things we want RIGHT NOW." So keep your eye on the prize, and "Just keep swimming. Just keep swimming. Just keep swi-i-i-i-ming. What do we do? We swim, swim, swim."

Monday, May 17, 2010

6 Impossible Things

Rough night. Hubby gave himself food poisoning, and Grace has sinus funk. Grace spent most of night in bed with us. She's a kicker. I don't think a single part of me avoided getting walloped or bonked by some random little person's body parts. On top of it, I feel like I'm trying to fight gambu off too.

Since hubby was home sick today, he agreed to lay on couch with Grace & be miserable together long enough for me to go to gym and get a run in.

I've been wondering about the safest, most effective & efficient way to get a 30 min 5k in my reach. Still trying to figure it out without killing myself.

Saw the new Alice & Wonderland on Saturday. Meant to go when it first came out as my 50 lbs lost treat, but that didn't happen till a month or so later. Now that I'm almost half a pound away from being 1/2 way to my goal weight, it seemed like a good time. There was a phrase in there that inspired me. "I believe in 6 impossible things before breakfast. COUNT THEM!"

Here are mine:
1) I can run a 5 minute mile

2) I can qualify and run in the Boston Marathon

3) I can run a sub-20 min 5k

4) I can reach my goal weight of 135

5) I can get my house clean before I leave on vacation next month

6) I can find happiness and learn to like myself

Remember: at the end of the day, every magnificent hero must still face great adversity to get from Once Upon a Time... to Happily Ever After. What dragon will YOU slay today?

Monday, May 10, 2010

One More Mile

Sorry I've been quiet lately. I could use several excuses, but the truth of the matter is, really, that I'm a lazy pud. I even took a week off from the gym (tsk, tsk, tsk)

Thankfully there's this thing called a husband. And today, after dinner, husband said "Honeymoon's over" and got me to the gym. It was busy, all machines were filled, but I started stretching while I waited for a TM to open. After I hopped on, I pushed myself hard to run a mile straight-- for the first time in my life. I did it in about 13 mins. The last quarter mile sucked, but that's my fault, because I tried to rush through it by putting the TM on 7 mph and burnt myself out in about 10 seconds. It was a fun 10 seconds, going that fast, but, let's face it, the next 3 minutes were NOT so fun. Let myself ease off a bit and just do some sprinting intervals after I caught my breath. Took about 1/2 a mile, but I got going again and finished strong. For what it's worth 5 mph is getting more and more comfortable, but I'm also finding 4.2 comfortable for longer runs.

Getting closer & closer every day to being 1/2 way to my goal weight. Just gotta get to 56.5 lbs lost!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010

Hawaiian Roller Coaster Ride

This last week has been a roller coaster ride. On Wednesday I had a great run, going 1.92 miles on the treadmill. My friend Jazz & I also had a pretty productive day in the studio in preparation for a show this past weekend. I dropped her off at a bus stop so she could go up to Salt Lake to meet with her hubby, and started to pull toward the yield when... CRUNCH. I T'd another car in the rear door. My brand new car was scratched, and I had an accident on my record now. I've only had one speeding ticket in the 10 years I've been driving, now this. I don't know if I didn't see him or if he didn't see me, but there you have it. I was pretty upset. Luckily nobody was hurt. In fact, Grace kind of looked at me like "why are we stopping, mom?"
Our insurance was great and dealt with everything. I was pleased with the way they handled it. We were only out $250 for repairs, insurance picked up the rest (which included a displaced headlight and rearranging the inside of the fender)

After dinner we went to Coney's Frozen Custard to try their new chocolate raspberry creme flavor. Andy chose brownies to mix in. It was really good. I was still sad, but chocolate makes almost anything better.

Then I had Andy drop me off at primary presidency meeting. I told them about the accident, and just wanted the spirit to come and quiet my soul. I was just about "there" during a very good object lesson. The object lesson was about fitting our calling into our daily lives. We wrote responsibilities on clear decorative stones (Grace, Andy, cook, clean, etc), and placed them in a large baby food jar. After that you add colored pebbles that represent life's little surprises (car accidents, unforseen bills, etc). Then we had this larger rock, which represented our church callings, that we also had to fit in. It didn't fit in on top. So we dumped our stuff out, put the rock in first, and then put the rest of it back in the jar. To make it count, you had to close the lid on the jar. Mine fit fine. Object lesson achieved: put your calling first. One of the counselors was struggling to get all of hers in, so I offered to help. I was just starting to close the lid when KABOOSH! The jar 'sploded and sliced my hands. I got a pretty deep gash in the crook of my left thumb, and a bad cut across the pad of my other. Other parts of my hands and fingers were also banged up. One of the counselors called my hubby to tell him the news. All I heard on the other end was "No, we're not kidding". Like how accident prone can this woman be in one day?! I was taken home where hubby rushed me to urgent care. The counselor who took me home stayed at our place since Grace was already in bed. I got Frankenstein stitches in my life hand (which, and I know this is dumb, are a blow to my self image. I feel ugly whenever I look at them), and 2 or 3 stitches in the pad of my other thumb. It was not fun.
Then the next day my mom called to tell me she has to euthanize our amazing dog. They found a tumor the size of a football and operating would only give her two or three months of extra life. So now not only was I physically broken, but heart broken too. Between those two, I started to have shock symptoms (nausea, chills, kind of out of it) and crashed on the couch the rest of the night. Slept soundly for 4 hours, then went to bed and slept more.

One thing about really bad things is that they only seem to come in threes. Friday morning I woke up feeling pretty glum and did my weekly weigh in. I came in at 199.8. I had officially left Twoterville and entered Onederland. I smiled and thought "Alright." It was like Mr. Sun was peeking his little head out of the clouds for a minute. The weekend got better with many top three finishes in the classes at the model horse show I went to, and I had good company driving there with two fellow friends/hobbiests.

Tuesday night we went shopping and hubby let me get two new pairs of shorts and a new shirt. I've been feeling like a house in my shirts that no longer fit, and my size 16 shorts were starting to slide around a little bit. Despite my hands killing me as I tried to do the button, I now fit comfortably into a size 14! I do not recall ever being a size 14 as a teenager or adult. I remember being in 8th grade swim class. In the locker room, I could hear the girls wish they were more filled out in certain places like I was, while I desperately wished my size 16 pants were size 10-12 like a normal 14 year old.
I know vanity sizing has gotten worse in the last decade, and my size 14s are probably really 16s (or would have been 10 years ago), I'll take em!

This morning I weighed in at 198.2-- .2 away from 50 lost. The only number in my head now is 185... no longer obese.

Saturday, April 3, 2010

Road Blocks Suck

It's been a frustrating week. It started out fine, but the last few days have just been trying. Wednesday I woke up with really sore shins, which lasted Thursday as well. I have a history of not getting along with Airwalk shoes, and those are what I wore on therapy day (where my brother in law goes to therapy & I walk laps around the mall, it's therapy for both of us!), doing even more walking after the mall (Andy needed to go up to Weber State University to get a student ID card). I'm pretty sure that's what did my shins in. I will be whining continuously at hubby for new shoes. One friend had the brilliant idea of retiring one's running shoes for regular wear and breaking in a new pair, which is what I might do.

Oh and lame excuse #2, Grace is just getting over being sick for a whole 2 weeks, so her being sick kept me home from gym, too, since I didn't have anyone to really watch her.

Friday I ended up in SLC. Hubby has been remodeling the bathroom, so we are without a shower until it's done. Thus, I drive Grace & I to SLC to hubby's work every few days to get a hot shower. In the midst of all this, I've also been struggling with food issues. I just don't want it. My mentality is better today, but now I don't want dinner even though it's our fabulous homemade pizza (half the calories and sodium & tastes just like chain!)

So today while hubby continued to lay tile in our bathroom, I told him I was off to the gym to get my mojo back, and would be in no hurry to get home. Please take care of our little person when she gets up from her nap which I just wrestled her into (and not in a fun way).

I figured I would just put in a light maintenance run, but my body is getting stronger, and just can't handle 4 mph anymore. It's painfully slow (literally). I'm maintaining an average of 4.5 now, with a couple of minutes here and there at 5 or faster.

After I got my run in, I hit the stationary bike and put in 10.8 miles in 30 mins. In all, I torched 606 calories. Been a while since I blew past the 500 mark.

Really frustrated with my virtually non-existent weight loss this last week (less than a pound, so angry), but certain road blocks will be out of my way next week.

Suggested to hubby that we go for walk on Sunday so I can get a head start on my miles for the week.

Sunday is Easter. Today I took Grace to an Easter Egg hunt. We got there early to secure our spot. I was hoping with the weather, and conference, nobody would show up. There was still a tremendous turn out. We stood in the freezing wind for almost 1/2 hour. We were 2 ft away from the eggs, patiently waiting on the concrete. You can imagine how upset I was when The people in charge shouted "go" and the eggs were GONE! I had to climb over eggs with Grace just to get 2. We were so lucky we got any at all. *sigh*, at least we lucked out and got one with a prize ticket inside. Grace made off with some sidewalk chalk-- one of her favorite things.

Anyway, that's all


Thursday, April 1, 2010

Food is Gross

Have you ever stopped to think about how gross food really is? It goes into our bodies... we turn it into mush, and then our bodies liquify it with acid in a process not unlike resomation. Then it travels through this slimy, two mile tube, where it's compacted with more acid, gasses, and deadly substances and comes out as poop. Hope you weren't eating anything while reading that. That kind of visual tends to impair an appetite.

Speaking of impaired appetite, I've really been struggling with food lately. Not for the above reason, but I just have no appetite. My body is hungry, but my brain is convinced that everything is disgusting. It's 3 pm, and half of the food on my MFP food diary has come off. I haven't had lunch, my morning snack, or my afternoon snack. I've also had no water today yet. I don't know why I'm struggling with this lately. It usually doesn't come on till summer. For me, it's normal to experience loss of appetite in summer. I don't do well in heat, and heat dampers anything I desire to do. Including eat.
Nothing sounds good. Everything is gross.

How do you go from 250 lbs and eating everything in sight, to 200 lbs and everything is gross? More importantly, how do you fix it?

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Happy Unbirthday

I consider March 23 my half birthday. I believe it to be so, because it is 6 months after I was born. Makes sense, right? I call my half birthday my Unbirthday. For my unbirthday gift, I wanted to be 50 lbs away from 248. Unfortunately I'm only 43. I fell short 7 lbs. I am disappointed, but a few days ago when I realized there was just no way I was going to make it, that this is a journey. My mentality has changed from that of the Hare's to that of the Tortoise's. Slow & steady wins the race. The lazy hare burnt himself out half way through the race, while the Tortoise just stayed focus on the finish line and assuredly chanted "Slow and steady wins the race." All the while laughing to the bank as he passes the sleeping hare.

So here I am, folks. 43 pounds lighter, 70 lbs away from my goal weight, 14 away from being half way there, and disappointed... but absolutely shameless. Happy Unbirthday to me! :)

Friday, March 12, 2010

The Incredibles

At what point does someone become a runner? Is it when the fat chick runs 10 minutes straight, or when the skinny chick who used to weigh 250 lbs finishes her first marathon?

The other night I had a dream that I ran a half marathon in an hour and thirty-three minutes. I was the winner. I couldn't believe it. I stopped for a moment to cry... then I looked up and saw the real finish line another couple hundred yards in front of me. I had been beaten and come in second. I was devastated.

I spent the day pondering this dream. Given the last few runs I've had, I think it was my soul telling me that I was quitting my intervals too soon. That I can do so much more. That I am tougher than I give myself credit for.

Today I ran 10 minutes straight. Towards the end of the interval, I almost started crying. Not because I was in pain, but that I was in amazement. I couldn't cry though. There was a cute guy running next to me. He was huffing and puffing too. One of us had to be strong for the other. After my 10 minute run (when I was only aiming for 5), I did a 5 min walk. Just as I started running again, said cute guy left. I know I shouldn't be concerned, me being married to the best guy in the universe (who happened to stay up last night till 4 in the morning stripping our bathroom floor by hand), I was kind of disappointed in cute young guy who seemed to be quitting awfully soon after starting. He came after I started, and left before I finished. I only ran 25 mins.

Between my iPod, Steve (who was really there for me today every step of the way with amazing, inspirational tunes), and The Incredibles on the plasma TV in front of me, I had an amazing run today. Remember: if the fat chick can run 10 mins straight, you can do INCREDIBLE things too! God gave us free agency for a reason. CHOOSE TO BE INCREDIBLE TODAY!

Sunday, March 7, 2010

Say Hello to My Little Friend

Say Hello to My Little Friend, Post #100!! Hello little Post 100.

So I was looking at the C25K training plan on the cool running website. I pretty much skipped week 4 when I decided to do my own thing. Was looking at week 5, and it says 5 min warmup, then run 5, walk 3, rinse and repeat. I have been running 5, walking 3, then running three, walking 3... Erm, yeah. So, as intimidating as this is to me, my goal for this week is to run 5, walk 3, run 5, rinse and repeat. It's going to be a push, but I won't progress otherwise. Just as long as I don't have to listen to PodRunner which was vaporizing my brain with its droning beats. I much prefer music with inspiring lyrics to help me push, or watching a good movie on the TV in front of the TM at the gym when I can.

So there. I've said it. Starting Monday we walk 5, run 5, walk 3, run 5, walk 3, run 5, then cool down. I'll let you know how my battle against my mortal enemy goes.
Luckily, I go to war armed. I found a quote from my favorite book in the bible, Isaiah: "You shall run and not be weary, you shall walk and not faint." I will try to remind myself of this when I'm tired.

"Just do your best and let God to the rest" -- Me, today

Saturday, March 6, 2010


Several days ago we noticed the carpet in our bathroom was... erm... squishy. By the way, whose brilliant idea was it to put CARPET in the BATHROOM?! It was here when we bought house. *Strangles common-senseless previous owners*
It was also WET. We suspected a toilet leak. The leak got progressively worse until it was moving out ahead of the toilet. Andy finally had some time today to get a look at it. Can I tell you what a turn on it is to see my computer geek husband doing MAN JOBS? He's not really the handy man type, but he's smart & figures things out.
So we drain the toilet, get it off, and the wax seal is almost completely gone. It's really gross. We also notice that under the carpet is... TILE! Who the heck puts carpet over tile?! Okay, not tile, but laminate. Still... whose bright idea was that?
I've been wanting to tile the bathroom for ages. Suddenly we have the opportunity! Off to Lowes we whisk for new tile cuz the old stuff was ugly and kinda gross. We found some beautiful marble/stone looking vinyl flooring. Our little leak has turned into a weekend project. Honestly, I can't wait to get to attacking the bathroom... I'm excited! It's gonna be beautiful. We bought paint for it last year, cuz I wanted something fresh & new, but never got around to using it. Now we're gonna knock it out of the park! WOOHOO!

Fresh paint, beautiful HYGIENIC flooring, and a brand new toilet! Come summer we can ACCESSORIZE! Oh and eventually I want to get a new sink, countertop, and hardware for cupboards. I saw some marvelous all-in-one countertop/basins at Lowes that I wouldn't mind putting in. Very pretty stone/marble type set ups.

Friday, March 5, 2010

To War, To War, I Go To War!

The TM & I had it out tonight. I WON! The last running interval totally sucked, but I won. I ran 5 mins, 3 mins, 3 mins with walking intervals in between obviously. It was a push, and it showed. I confess that I did stop the belt once because I was getting a cramp in my belly (not my side, but just to the left of my diaphragm). So I paused to try and stretch it out... but that was at 19:23 mins out of a 25 min run. TAKE THAT, TREADMILL!

My only thing is I need to focus more on keeping my breathing controlled. Tonight I had too much fun early on rocking out with Steve. I'm glad I was wearing my "I'm Cuckoo" coco puffs t-shirt so everyone around me would understand the crazy lady on the TM singing Bowling For Soup & Beach Boys under her breath.

I was also really happy to have a 3 lb loss this week. I hope to keep losing at least 3 pounds a week. My goal is to lose another 14 lbs by the 23rd of this month so I can reach my goal of 50 lbs lost by my 1/2 birthday. March 23 is my half birthday. That's 18 days. That's about .7 lbs a day, which I've been losing lately. The good Lord helps those who help themselves. I will be doing my part-- can you help the Lord out with prayers for me?

Monday, March 1, 2010

Pop Quiz

A month ago I set a goal to run 1 mile on March 1. I had planned to be 1/2 way through my C25K program. So it seemed reasonable that running 1 mile nonstop would be doable. I'm only on week 3, however, since I repeated week 2 a few times. Regardless, I decided to test myself and just run as long as I could. I lasted 5 mins & over 1/4 of a mile against my mortal enemy, the treadmill. After that, I walked for 5, then ran for 2, walked for 2, and ran for 1, and cooled down for 6. My lungs were feeling it, especially after being sick this weekend. I have officially cast PodRunner aside in favor of the plasma TVs at the rec center and tunes on my iPod, Steve. For a long time I've been craving an emotional breakthrough like the contestants on Biggest Loser have, and I think I'm close to having one. There were a couple of songs Steve played for me that had me close to tears.

After going 1.4 miles on the TM, I got on the stationary biked and powered through 10.77 miles in 30 mins. I'd like to eventually get to 13 miles in under 20 miles.

Friday, February 26, 2010

Run, Forest, Run!

For the past month, I was convinced that the treadmill was my mortal enemy, but now I am becoming a runner. My mortal enemy & I are coming to an understanding, I think. I didn't get to go to the rec center until 8:30 tonight, and it closes at 10. I needed to burn 500 cals, and I had had a great dinner (went to Cocolitos with hub, little person stayed home with babysitter, WOO!). Needless to say I had to get my run in first if I was going to get anything out of today. The place was pretty quiet, plenty of open TMs. So I get one dead smack in front of a plasma TV, and change it from icky basketball to AMC which happened to be showing Forrest Gump. Great movie. Can you believe it's almost 20 years old already? It doesn't seem possible!

Anyway, after a good stretch, I started my 5 min warm up walk, and moved right into a 2 min run. I was feeling a little slow tonight, but I shook it off, and was feeling pretty good. Walk my next 2 mins, and run the next 2. At this point I'm feeling REALLY good, and wanted to check my pace. I go to push the button and, to my horror, accidentally stopped the belt by pushing the wrong button. Serves me right with my awful peripheral vision. I was going "No, no! BAH! Ugh!" I was doing SO great, and 10 mins done already, it had flown by. With a huff, I figure out how to reset the darn thing, mentally note that I went .58 miles in 10 mins, and start over with a 2 min walking interval. Moved into running 2 mins later, and continued the pattern. I kept looking down at the time to see when the interval would be over, and I was often 1 min to 1.5 mins through the interval. I just tried really hard to stay focused on the movie. Maybe I am a better runner without my iPod, Steve, going. I was just really happy that I did a full 20 min running & walking interval. At the end, I did a 5 min cool down walk, gradually slowing the belt, and finished at 1.66 miles total. Then I hopped right on the elliptical and repeated my idiot mistake. I am obviously technically challenged tonight! I did 20 mins total on the elliptical, and went another 1.47 miles. Sooo... I kinda did a 5k in 50 mins. I am improving!
Also wanted to whine that my left foot was asleep on the elliptical. It was not so fun. Must have chiropractor take closer look at foot as it's the same one with the achilles tendon bugging me.

Monday, February 22, 2010

Large & In Charge

Mark me down for a noticeable improvement against my mortal enemy-- THE TREADMILL! I started week 3 of C25K. When my warm up walk got to about 4 mins, I noticed a feeling of anxiety and fear raising its ugly head. I took a deep breath, and at 5 mins began my 2 min running interval. I blew through it! I said "that wasn't so bad". The next one wasn't too bad either. It was the third & fourth one that kinda got to me. I tried pausing to stretch my ankles, but they were hard to move, and my left shin was bugging me. At that point, I just was running 1 min intervals, but it wasn't a complete failure. I think I'll stick with week 3 for a couple of weeks. I'm glad I did week 2 twice.
Today I just listened to my running tunes instead of PodRunner. I think it helped me to relax rather than being worried about when the interval was going to end. Must do some road work this week.

On a super great note, I was at Walmart today for some ingredients for dinner, and I noticed that some pajamas I'd been eyeing last month were on clearance. Without trying them on, I bought the large size. Not 2X, not XL... LARGE! When I got home, I tried one of the shirts on. It was a very snug, formfitting fit, but IT FITS! No gross back rolls or anything... but my tummy was sore after a few minutes of sucking it in, LOL. I am wearing my new PJs now, and going to make hubs take pictures.

Happy that I'm only a few pounds away from pre-baby weight, and staring 50 lbs lost down the throat!

Comparison pictures!
Blue shirt: Me at Grace's 1st bday party in July

New jammies-- Who's Your Sugar Daddy?